May 29th 2014

By: John A. Carlos II

If you've been following me online then you already know that one of the things that perplexes my every thought, is on how do I make Art and the motivation I need to create it. It is said that time flies, but to me time feels like running in quicksand. Sometimes I want to cry, because of my lack of productivity. I have a common problem that plagues a lot of people attention deficit disorder. Reducing my problems to just this is a disservice, I love the way my brain works, I don't think I could create the way I do without it.

However, I never seem to finish the things that I really want to start, yes you read that right. I write down ideas and never seem to start them. Forget writing a blog this, creating is hard work for me. I have always struggled with this problem in college I don't think I pushed myself enough to get the most of of school. I don't want to say that I just skated by or anything like that, but at the end of the day I played it safe. I produced work that I knew I could create with the workload that I had.

Producing anything is hard it can feel like torture, then that feeling of quicksand comes in. I’m not a writer nor do I plan to be one, but I do want to share my thoughts. Maybe one day I will find a better way… Today I only want to share these thoughts. It's my thought that this helps you to get to know me and maybe have a more endearing feeling towards me. To most people they see as creating all the time, am I? Well that answer is, yes. I create for my clients, I create the easy things... But do I create? I feel like a bit of a fraud, the images I create live in cyber space or on my computer. I haven't printed my art or anything else for that matter since college... I feel like this is not creating art. Art needs to be, it wants to be physical. Art need to be reflexive, you need to be able to see it, feel it. If you print a photograph on a glossy surface or put it behind glass the viewer then becomes a part of the work his or her reflection is seen on the surface of the product.

I recently wrote a post on Mother's Day about my feelings on creating...

In my life I find that I'm the happiest when I'm creating wonderful images, and it is only when I'm not creating that self loathing in doubt creeps in. There is so much more I need to know about myself, others, and greater world around me. I do feel that sometimes my naïveté gets in the way of me being success. I do not view money or any other monetary measures as success, but I do need the measure of monetary value to be of self worth. On this Mother's Day I'm happy to have a family that loves and supports me in all my endeavors whether or not they think they are fruitful or worth doing. These are for better or worse the thoughts of this artist/photographer.

Maybe I want to start printing my clients work to hang on my wall, maybe I just want to stop writing stupid things on pieces of paper. Ok, lets talk about this aspect of my life… When I working, listening, or watching stuff my mind is never still, I think about business, Art, and life in general. These thoughts wind up on a scrap piece of paper, usually until I either act upon it or more often than not put it into a large notebook, never to be seen again. I really feel that I have a follow through problem. The ideas in that book are very good but what’s the point if I don’t take action from these thoughts? My life while creating is a lot life the dog from the movie Up! “squirrel!"

I don't know if I have a point to all this... I want to create more and I want to grow my business, it only will take over coming myself to do it. Wish me luck!

Honestly this could've been much longer, and I fear that I am not quite done with this subject